Time for change

At first this might feel like I’m off subject but I promise you I’m not. In July 2019 on the BBC there was a programme called Panorama. It was about how from 2020 LGBTQ+ Relationship Education will be included in Primary schools. It also showed that some parents are protesting against this and also getting their children to join in.

When I say protest I mean exactly that. This isn’t a petition they’ve handed in. No. They’re outside the school gates (like a mob) with placards, banners, megaphones etc saying shit like “Let kids be kids” & “Don’t confuse our children”. They’ve got it so wrong that it would actually be funny if it wasn’t so upsetting.

The schools are going to start teaching children that you know what, some kids have one mum, some have a mum and a dad, some have two dads, some have two mums etc. It’s all about inclusion and actually being honest about what the world is like. How on earth in any shape or form can this be wrong?

They showed one woman saying (angrily) “What do I say if my child comes home and says why haven’t I got 2 mummys?”. At this point I actually did laugh out loud. I mean……what the actual flying flamingo? Ummmm…babes….you just say because you have a mum and a dad (and I’m not a lesbian babes). I mean COME ON!

They need to flip their thinking and realise that gay people are brought up in a straight world. I had straight parents, read straight books, watched straight films, went to straight weddings, and hung out with only straight families. Did it make me straight? Course it fucking didn’t because I was born gay. 

What does this have to do with me being sober? Well a lot. Being gay creates a whole massive heap of shame from a young age. I’m just at the tip of the iceberg with working this out but it definitely played a big part in my alcohol abuse. So to see schools explaining that being gay is okay from a young age is incredible and can save lives. 

When I was drinking I wouldn’t have even watched this programme as it would have made me anxious. All my life I’ve had to watch people debate gay issues. To put on the telly and see people deciding if you should have the same human rights as straight people is damaging beyond. But it’s what happens all the time. 

If I wasn’t sober I wouldn’t have this blog to have done a story about it and then receive emails that made me cry with happiness. Especially off straight parents (women & men) saying they fully support the schools and want their children, of course, to be aware of what is really happening in the world.

Being sober has given me a fire in my belly that has been extinguished for years by all the lager I poured on it. Well not anymore. I’m about to start an idea that could make more young LGBTQ+ people feel included and loved, where as before I’d have just buried my head in the sand. Being gay is not a choice but being ignorant is.


  1. MJ

    I am a teacher and this is glorious. I had a 7th grade boy tell me he was gay a couple of weeks ago and that his parents hate gay people and if I think it is okay.

    I called up my gay buddies and asked them what they would have wanted to hear at that age and they instructed me to tell him:

    1. There is NOTHING wrong with you and it is 100% okay to be gay.
    2. Only come out to people you feel safe with.
    3. There is no rush to come out and everyone has their own journey.
    4. He is beautiful and courageous and it may seem like no one will accept him and some people won’t, but there is world out there who will love him just as he is and not to be scared.

    Do you have any other advice?

    Thanks for your words ❤️❤️❤️

    • The Gay Sober

      Well firstly, you must be an awesome teacher for that kid to be able to talk to you like that. What an absolute honour.
      How sad he can’t talk to his parents but then it’s often easier to tell someone removed from your family. The worst thing about that is that it starts off the feeling of shame straight away which is pretty hard to shake. Especially when it’s from your own parents. I didn’t have to deal with that but I know many who have.
      I think that advice that your friends have given you is spot on. And it’s number 4 that I would have said to you. What an amazingly brave human to be able to come to you with this.
      Lovely to hear from you. Keep in touch.


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