If you’ve stopped drinking or on a Ross & Rachel break, you will know that there are certain questions people ask. I will always be respectful when I give my answers as I understand why they’re asking. And I used to ask them myself (pissed of course). But this post is the answers that flash through my mind ….
Q: Why aren’t you drinking anymore?
A: Why aren’t you engaging your brain before you talk anymore?
Q: Did you drink in the mornings?
A: No…..are you this annoying in the mornings?
Q: Are you an alcoholic?
A: What’s your favourite sexual position?
Q: Have you got a drink problem?
A: Have you got a “I cant stop asking stupid fucking questions” problem?
Q: Are you really bored now?
A: Since I’ve been talking to you hun yes.
Q: Have you lost loads of weight?
A: Have I fuck. I’ve replaced alcohol with doughnuts.
Q: Do you think I could do it?
A: Yes! Absolutely. If I can. You can. (I say that out loud of course).
As I said….I recognise the questions because I’ve asked them. I was that knob jockey who didn’t like being around “boring” sober people if I was drinking. I’d say shit like “I don’t trust people who don’t drink” and other cock womble sayings. So to be clear…. I am definitely not saying to repeat these!!!! But surely we can think them!!!