When I was drinking alcohol I would say quite a lot of shit that actually meant something else. Excuses pinged out of me like farts and although I was worried about my drinking for years I acted as if all was great. I didn’t even realise I was doing it but here are some things I used to say, with the real meaning after them…..
I feel fine this morning = I feel as rough as a witches chin but don’t let anyone know or they’ll know how drunk you were.
I love the feeling of being drunk = I love numbing out and actually not feeling.
I only had a couple of cans = I drank at least 8, probs a couple more and one more for the road.
Blah blah drinks more than me = Okay, someone is worse than me, great, keep on drinking.
I don’t trust people who don’t drink = Deep down I envy them so I need to put them down to make myself okay.
I can stop if I really wanted to = I’ve tried so many times to have breaks but can’t get alcohol out of my mind, guess I’ll always drink.
Thursday is the new Friday = Thank fuck I can drink again, it’s been 3 days.
So yeah, we lie to ourselves and we lie to others when we depend on alcohol. I didn’t use to do it intentionally but I was so scared of living a life without the poison (F.O.N.D) that I had to justify it. Well, thank fuck flaps that’s all in the past!