The time I’ve wasted on alcohol in the past is pretty unbelievable. The hours I have sat there funneling the poison down the gullet is one thing, as are the hangovers. I dread to think of the time I’ve wasted actually hanging over. But what I mean here is the time I have wasted on thinking about alcohol.
An average week when I was drinking……
I feel dreadful. I didn’t moderate. Why can’t I stick to my plan? How much did I really drink? I feel down, like really down. Everything seems shit. Life is shit. Where’s my life going? Do I have a drink problem? Am I an alcoholic? Right, I’m having a big break and going to get help. Somethings got to give. Somethings got to change.
Eugh. Okay, I feel a bit better. Still a bit blue but I got through yesterday. Come on. You’re alright. I didn’t drink that much on the weekend. Did I? I was too hard on myself yesterday. Yeah, that’s just part of the hangover. Still, have a break. It’s easy. Yeah, I’m definitely going to have a break.
Oh come on. I’ve been dramatic again. Ha!!! I don’t need to stop I just need to get it in control. I can do that. I’m a strong, confident person who’s in control of his choices. Right, I’ll give myself a limit, maybe 4, and just stop there. Yes, I’ll mark them off on a piece of paper and that will be fine. Done
Okay, I think I need to give myself a leeway of 1 or 2 extra as actually 6 isn’t even that bad. Right I’m gonna tell my partner and mates to help me. Yay, I’m excited now to try this. I feel like this is the time it’s gonna change. I haven’t got a drinking problem I just love being sociable. Woo hoo! Life is awesome. I’ve got this.
Fridays are so amazing. Yay I’m gonna be drinking. I’m so hard on myself about having a good time. Everyone drinks. Everyone is talking about drinking. Everyone is enjoying themselves why shouldn’t I. Ah fuck it, start when you get in. You deserve it. Get pissed, relax, enjoy yourself. You only live once. People who don’t drink are dull.
Feel a bit rough. Oh well that’s what Saturday mornings are about. Chill out. Hmmm, went over my limit last night. So. It wasn’t that much over. It’s funny! Yeah, everyone feels like this. Fuck the limit tonight you moderated mostly last night so bloody let yourself go tonight. Can’t wait to start drinking later.
Shit. Drunk way too much. Oh well. Everyone else does too. Don’t be hard on yourself. I feel really rough. Relax. That’s what Sundays are for. Feel a bit anxious. I did drink too much. I need one to take the edge off. Oh I love Sunday drinking. Feels decadent. Yes have a few, just moderate. Oh go for it you’ve got a hard week ahead of you.
I was stuck in a groundhog week. But not anymore!!!! Lesson? If you think you have a problem. Then you probably do. Face it. Sort it out. Live your life to the full. I know I have massively simplified it but that’s the bottom line. Screw you alcohol you controlling shit tit.