Lost & Found

For years I knew my drinking of alcohol wasn’t “right” and that it was causing problems in my life. Could you tell from the outside? No. But I knew. I knew that once I’d started I found it hard to stop. I knew that once I’d started I would always find an excuse for “one more”. I knew that once I’d started I’d be rough as a Rhino’s ball sack the next day.

I was so worried about what I’d lose from my life and had no clue about what I’d find and discover. I stopped drinking 10 months ago and in that time everything in my life has improved. Here’s a few things I thought would be lost from my life without alcohol but have actually turned out to be better…..

I thought I’d lose a social life.

But I found that I have so much more time to be social now. I’m not hiding in a darkened room, hungover, pretending I’ve got a sudden case of scurvy. Or forgetting the night before that was apparently fun. When I see mates now that social time is about really catching up, listening and still having a right laugh.

I thought I’d lose friends.

But I have made a shit load more! The irony of that makes me smile. I have made some real friends via IG and also been in contact and chatted with people all over the world. People who have helped me, people who have made me see things in a new light and some people who just post memes that make me totes lols.

I thought I’d lose my identity.

But I have actually discovered that I’m so much more than the person I thought I was. Since my head is not full of thinking about drinking I have time to think about me. It may sound selfish, but it’s not. The last 10 months I have started to really get to know myself and I know I am just at the beginning.

I thought I’d lose weight.

But I haven’t. Does it bother me? Yes, sometimes. But it’s not about changing my body it’s about changing the way I look at my body. Since I’ve stopped inhaling alcohol I’ve run a 10k, am doing a half marathon and I no longer smoke. So am I healthier? Sweet shit on a fuck flap of course I am. And that’s amazing news.

I thought I’d lose fun times.

But I’ve realised that alcohol was killing the fun. It was fake fun. Hang around a group of drunk people when you’re sober and you realise that the jokes are pretty shit. They seem funny because you’re pissed. I’ve found that my life is now way more fun as I am no longer hiding a problem and I am properly present.

I thought I’d lose a part of my relationship with my partner.

But this too has got even better. The way my husband has supported me through stopping drinking has made me love him even more. I thought he’d hate me not drinking, turns out he loves it! Without his support and kindness (and patience) I’m not sure I’d still be off the poison.

That’s a few things I thought I would lose but I’ve actually gained so much. When you’re in the grip of the drink you can’t see how you would ever cope without it. When you stop drinking you can’t see how you ever coped WITH it. If you’ve stopped, you get it, if you’re thinking about stopping give it a go. Your life will change…for the better.  

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