I refuse to be down on the old me or think of myself as a complete cockwomble. I wasn’t. Yes I massively hated my drinking habits but I did not hate myself. Without a doubt there would be mornings, possibly days when there would be low level self hate. But that was because I’d broken yet another drinking promise and also be hungover!
Of course there are things in my past that I regret. The way I spoke to someone or what I did whilst drunk etc. But that’s does not make old me an utter knob. A slight knob granted but you know. I’m sure you ask anyone who’s never had a drink in their life and they’d have regrets too.
We can be so hard on ourselves and we seriously need to stop and check it. I was given the advice once “what would you say to a friend about this” and it’s always much kinder comments than you’re given yourself. I am so bloody grateful to be me. I don’t mean to be conceited when I say that I just recognise how lucky I am.
I recently joined IG and I do notice sometimes that there is a feel of: old me = miserable loser, new me = happy & sorted. I am only speaking for myself here but that is why I struggle with before and after pictures. The old picture is often derogatory to the person and I don’t find that helpful. Don’t shout at me. It’s just my opinion.
Stopping drinking has been the most amazing choice I have ever made and it has 100% changed my life. I’m getting emotional even thinking about it. But that does not mean that my 40 years previous need to be deleted. I had a great time! But there were some really shit times and I definitely developed a drinking problem.
I will probably be an utter knob head again in my life. I will probably upset someone without meaning to. I will probably let someone down. I will probably fuck up. But at least I will make these mistakes sober. There’s enough hate in the bloody world. Please make sure you’re not hating on yourself.