I’ll admit I’ve been a proper sober tease over the years. Suppose you could actually say I’m a sober slut! Before this analogy goes really wrong and I start conjuring up images of me on a pole, I’ll explain.
What I mean is….this is by no means my first go at stopping drinking.
I’ve know for years that I had a problem with alcohol. Once that first can was opened or that first pint drunk (inhaled), I was on that train and there was no stopping till hammeredville (usually passing through blackoutston at some point of the journey too).
I knew I was drinking way more than I should be but there were loads of reasons why I just couldn’t stop. The main one being though that I truly believed life without alcohol would be completely shit. Boring. Dull. About as interesting as being on hold for an hour only to be cut off and left screaming at the gods!
So what did I do to try to stop drinking? A lot of things. Dry January, abstaining for set amount of times, my doctor, moderation, quit lit, counselling (well, I went to one session and felt like a fraud so never went back), asking my husband to say no when I said “shall we have a few tonight”, and of course googling “How to stop drinking”.
My main problem was that alcohol was on a pedestal. Yes I’d be trying all these things to stop drinking but my reward for not drinking would be…..drink! Yep, well done, you haven’t had any alcohol for two weeks. Your reward? All the alcohol you would have drunk in the last two weeks in one night! (I exaggerate).
Something has finally clicked and it is definitely from the help that is out there in all the books and blogs (my top 5 favourite quit lit books are in another post so I won’t bang on about them here). However, what used to make me embarrassed now makes me incredibly proud.
Each time I would fail at moderation or abstinence or writing down how many drinks I’d had etc I would beat myself up which would usually result in drinking more! However…every time I was trying to stop I was learning something new. Even if ultimately it was the biggest lesson of “I really can’t seem to stop drinking. I have a problem”.
If you’re trying to stop, moderate or just have a healthier relationship with alcohol, keep on trying. It will happen. I honestly thought I would be a piss head for the rest of my life. Wrong. I also thought I’d never be a runner. Wrong. I also thought that David Beckham would never leave Posh for me. Oh fucks sake…..