F.O.N.D. The fear of not drinking..

I don’t really suffer from FOMO, never have. I like my own company and can always find something to do (even if that is pretending I’ve been given 3 children and I have to name them in under 10 minutes or my hair will fall out. An odd game I played once, but I’m never bored). But what I did suffer from, massively, was FOND.

The fear of not drinking kept me in a place where I honestly believed that life was shit without it. How would I socialise? What would be my treat? What would I actually do???? Obviously the answer to all these questions is that you discover much better things to be your treats, healthier ways to relax and you actually do WAY more.

Whenever I stopped drinking before I would always know the date I was going to start back. IF I made it to the date I would then celebrate by jumping into a bath of beer. But without realising this was just fuelling my FOND. You’ve been so good, and it’s been so terrible, here, 10 pints of poison.

The fear of not drinking made me believe that twatty sayings like “I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day” actually held truth. I actually agreed with that camel shit! Sweet Mary up a maypole.

I don’t use the word fear lightly either. I was seriously fearful of what my life would look like without a drink in my hand! I’d buy Quit Lit and if the reviews said “wow this book has stopped me drinking completely”, that book would be shelved. Literally. Right next to all the poetry books I so want to love but actually don’t get!

If only I could have used the Time Turner spell (you know, the one Hermione uses to be in two places at once yeah?). I would have had a word with myself and said “what you will experience is an utter fucking adventure and a new love of life”. I would have also advised my self to stop towel drying curly hair.

So now I no longer have FOND. Hoorah. It makes me feel stronger than I ever have. I surround myself with Quit Lit, Podcasts, good people, good food and shit loads of chocolate. No more FOND(ness) for alcohol.

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