Looking back (been doing a lot of that recently) I realised that I was a “no” man. I wasn’t stubborn on purpose but I was set in my ways. I thought I knew what I liked, what I wanted to do, what I wanted to try and mainly, what I didn’t want to try. But now I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me (channeling Aladdin there).
Coinciding with me stopping drinking was a massive career change. I thought I’d be in the same job forever and thought I was happy about that. However over the last 5 years I started to realise I wasn’t truly happy. This was really hard to come to terms with as it was all I’d ever wanted to do. But drink had been numbing my decisions.
So last July came the two humongous changes. My career, and I stopped drinking and now I genuinely feel anything is achievable. I’ve started saying yes to things (still not smashed fucking avocado) and it’s opened my eyes to endless possibilities. I was absolutely stuck in a rut and thought that was okay. It wasn’t.
There was a huge part of me that thought I would never stop drinking. That I would keep following the same vicious, nasty little circle of drinking too much, stopping, trying to moderate, drinking too much again. But I have broken that circle, smashed it actually and thrown it in the rusty shit skip where it belongs.
When you stop drinking your realise if you can do that, that massive thing that has been crushing you for so long, then you can do anything ( I still can’t do the splits, well I can’t even touch my toes but I’m trying okay). And this is when the door opens, you jump on your flying carpet and fuck off to a whole new world.
Drinking disables you in so many ways. Ways you don’t even realise till you arise out of the haze and start really living and loving your life. I now say yes to new experiences, people, food, challenges, ideas, books, routines, thoughts, ideas, emotions….the list is endless (I still say no to spin. Fuck that).