Alcohol breath….

I’m just gonna say it.

Alcohol breath smells of camel shit.

I am always quick, I hope, to point out my own hypocrisy so please let me start by saying I had camel shit breath for a long time. But holy roly poly, since I’ve stopped drinking I can really smell it on people’s breath.

I used to smoke when I drank and was convinced I was the only person in the world, ever, who didn’t stink like drain water after a cig. It’s sort of like that…….but I was genuinely not aware how much alcohol smelt. I suppose because I was drinking my senses were numbed and the cells in my nose were not functioning at full capacity.

But over the last 6 months I have really noticed it. This is also not helped by when talking to a drunk person they tend to come closer (you trying to see my retinas hun?). I have even had a friends arm clamped around my neck whilst he pulled me tighter the more passionate the chat got.

Of late I have developed a technique where when this happens I place my hand close to my nose. Picture Rodins “The Thinker” with his hand higher…….or maybe a mixture of Princess Di and a shy school girl. It can look like I’m deep in thought but I’m actually covering up the old beak from the stink before me.

I’m seriously not judging here I’m just stating a fact. And I have been guilty of breathing both alcoholic and smoke fumes all over my loved ones. Another way to combat this is to bring nosegays back (these are not gays noses). Or maybe smear some Vicks on my top lip!

Anyhoo……..anyone for a shot of camel shit?

? ?

Thought not.

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