The struggle is real…..

Since being sober I see others struggles more. Anyone else feel like this? I don’t just mean peoples struggles with alcohol. I mean generally. I’ve always been a pretty sensitive person (Beaches is a favourite film of mine so, you know) and thought of myself as emotionally intelligent but recently I feel like bloody Whoopi Goldberg in “Ghost”.

Me and my mate have always had a mantra of “Everyone’s like they are for a reason”. And believe me this has helped me see the other side to why someone may be behaving like they are many times. But since I’ve stopped drinking I feel I am much more tuned into others and that most people out there actually find life pretty tough.

Of course those tough parts are completely weighed out by the brilliant parts but they’re still there. Since stopping drinking I’m getting to know myself so much better and I’ve realised I definitely have a tendency to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. Not on purpose I’m just maybe not always 100% honest with myself.  

I’ve being doing a timeline of my drinking and discovered it really kicked in when I was 18 and my dad died. I needed to numb out and was also pretending that everything was okay (pattern). It wasn’t. Actually that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was absolutely heartbroken and 22 years on there’s not a day goes by I don’t miss him.

This may sound like I’m channeling Elle Woods from Legally Blonde here but I seriously did not think that people drunk to numb things out. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to work out that I had a problem with alcohol because I had a problem in my life. Not everyone does, granted. But I did and had absolutely no clue that I was doing that.

Because of this it’s made me more sensitive to others. Now don’t worry, I don’t hear a lager can opening, shave my head, grow a moustache and run to that person with my best Dr Phil advice. I’m just aware that, like my own, some people’s drinking patterns may be linked with something bigger.

I also think because I no longer waste time thinking about hangovers and alcohol I have more time to think about these things. My own stuff and other peoples. If you’re sober and reading this I’m pretty sure you will agree that when that alcohol disappears your emotions start working as they should (and your poo gets better).

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